Relevant
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Torture
Topic: Understanding
Far and in Between best describes my entries into this blog...But I am extremely happy.  You see, I have reconciled the attack on my, Belinda Jackson, life.  The all out vengeance has been realized as a sort of progress.  The severity is an indicator as to what is working and what is not working in my attempt to undue this long suffering destructive behavior.  I have learn to live with.  Their was one point where I actually use to cry myself to sleep and the depravity and perversion was so severe by my ever present attackers; I used to hear snickering as the tears flowed down my face...I laughed and thought night vision; how desperate.  These where old time...Faith and the strenght of Belief has changed me...Now I look from a different angle...Like could you imagine your job was to peer at a Monitor or Video feed for 24 hours a day in shifts at an innocent person whom is being persecuted.  the soul purpose of these actions is protection of  guilty men in women whom actually conjured Sexually abuse as a tool of intimidation...Yeah, I rather be me...and also quite frankly I would have to be me...because for no amount of Money or gained could I behave in a perverse immoral and devilish manner...I am so much better than gain by betrayal and indecent behavior...Their was a time when I could hardly believe someone could be paid to sexually abuse another human being....But now I know Law Enforcement use Rape as a tool; this is a matter of course...How have they fallen face down into shit?  The how is shame and inadequacy...Yeah for all their professionalism the truth is every walk of life seek approval from peers or God....I seek approval from God...and his Son, Jesus Christ....I am going to have a battle on my path...because who I  choose to be is detrimental to whom these Rogue FBI and United Stated Department of Justice employees are....I will not be intimidated...this is amazing to my attackers...They have tried every sort of destructive behavior and I testify or file a criminal complaint...These fools ask "Who is she?"  I am a child of God, A Servant of God...you or a fool who is without moral foundation or boundaries....There was one point where I describe these men and women(women how absurd) as Sociopathic but I know this is incorrect because these men and women are easily hurt by my opinion.  I say things off the cuff all the time in my Mother Apartment where I am being held captive and I am physically attacked with the most severest pain all over my body...I say something like "Tiger Woods is The best ever." (These fools have killed themselve over my fanaticism over Tiger W)excruciating pain to the bottom of my foot, like someone stabbed with a sharp knife...Or "Eve Longoria is so ridiculous what a media whore." It feels like someone took a knife and cut my eye lid off...Or Brett Favre comment which got me stabbed in the stomach..."What a bullshit tactic to keep him out of the game."  I got slapped so hard in stomach I could not stop coughing....I have alway described my living arrangements as tortur chambers....So how do I prove this...with a blood test for the sexual abuse...I asked the United Departement of Justice to drug test me years ago back in 2003 when some lady ask me at UDOJ/OIG(Office of Inspector General) how could I prove it and I said with a blood test or hair folicle she disconnected...The thing is thier minds are shot (I am calling them niwits now....it is devestating because these people actually believe thier intelligent..jokes.) and I am being defile and attack just to make them feel better about being in the world...they attack me to sleep at night...I am like a drug used to medicate and pacifiy a lunatic...The thought being everything with horrible today; well let torture Belinda Jackson...It tragic...So when and how does it end...I have been getting tons of calls from Sen. Obama's Campaign Office...But I know Senator Obamas Campaign Office is full of Operative whom are broken shattered loser....It's a joke, I dont want to help Mcain place a dark shadow on Sen. Obamas reputation....I mean I believe America could not survive Sen. Mcain....But if I went back and worked on his Campaign and out of know where the USDOJ/Civil Rights decided to indict the Portland FBI office for a host of criminal action including Sexual Abuse and a tools of intimidation and torture...It would look horrific if I was volunteering for Sen. Obama...Yeah I communicated to his Campaign Manager in Oregon concerning the FBI/USDOJ criminal action against me and my family...they did nothing because Rogue Law Enforcement controls that office....All of them it was a big as Rogue Operation on Se Division which move to NE Killingsworth...no I hope the America Well not evil....so where do I go...The FBI/USDOJ is illegally obstructing all my communications...this blog is even being illegally obstructed by the keystroke...I cannot hire and Attorney....Bribe money goes everywhere....What am I going to do...Pray...I am in need of prayer....I have not one cohort in this...I am out here on Faith....If I find an Attorney here cometh the FBI with best friend and gift in tow...no longer do I have an Attorney...My hopes have been laid low so many times...I knew I had with the Postal Inspector the evidence was right there for all to see...but the lady said it was Anthrax fault....how is it anthraxs fault to return the form the Postal Clerk placed on the letter and how is anthraxs fault is wa filled out incorrectly and why cant we just resubmit...and why doesnt the name on the signature of the form match the computer.....???guess what not one person knows and the Manager is on Vacation..Bribe Money goeth everywhere....So what is Belinda Jackson going to do....I am being attacked by crazy people whom have the audacity to call me crazy...I have know Communciation Outlet and the FBI and US Attorney have banned me from calling thier office or showing up in person...when I asked for a appeal course of action because of thier demands I was disconnected....I would be in tears right this second if the bible had not said "Men are vile, love darknest and continually do evil.." So, I am reconcile to God....and look what they did to Jesus Christ...and he even performed miracles right befor thier eyes...Jealousy, Racism, Hate, and shame have locked down and until I find a Lawyer or someone willing to prosecute these idiots for thier criminal action i.e. IPR filed complaint, US Postal Inspection filed Complaint, IRS Appeal of collecting Stimulus payment and tax return, USDOL complaint of being banned from using the Oregon Employment Offices and a host of other filed criminal complaint....I am here battling with faith...Yeah I have been here for 13 years and counting...what fools I have and am suffering.